Dyin' ain't much of a livin'
by Banshee0
Summary: [One Shot - Complete] Kinda songfic-ish, I guess but I can't tell you what it is about since I'm still trying to figure that out myself. But it has Heero and Duo in it and that should be enough, ne?


Disclaimer:  
  
Mine? Idea: Yes! The Boys: No! The Song: No! Anything else: Still no! Happy? Fine... -.-"  
  
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Well... I don't really know, what brought this one on and I equally don't know, what's the point to it. Just Heero and Duo doing some... socializing or something like that.  
  
I was being bored and thus started to write something while listening to some music without having the plot planned out at all. And this resulted from it.  
  
Some of you might think that Heero is OOC in this story but I don't think so. I think that his training included emotions as well. He just had to learn how to ignore them if necessary because otherwise the would get into the way of his missions. If he was the oh-so-emotionless guy most people seem to believe he is that this would interfere with the missions even more because I just can't believe that it is possible to completely get rid of every emotion. Emotions can be ignored but not totally no-existent to my opinion. And if Heero's training wouldn't have tought him about the different emotions they could just pop out at any time and he, not knowing what it is that he is feeling would be kinda confused or something. You see: He is very well full of emotions but capable of choosing between blocking them out or letting them out. That's how I see it. You think differently? Fine, I don't have a problem with different opinions as long as mine is accepted as well. ^_^  
  
(And I hope I managed to explain my thoughts in a somewhat logic way so that you actually get what I was trying to say and not just end up totally confused by something that makes perfect sense to me but no-one else... ^_^")  
  
What else? Oh, yeah! Someone to dedicate this to... uhm...  
  
This story is dedicated to Lora-Helen, just out of pure sympathy and because I absolutely adore her fictions! (Go read them!!!) ^_^  
  
Oh, and still the same normally-german-speaking/wirting-girl here so don't go berserk on me if there are (and I'm sure there are) any errors, both spelling and grammatically... just ignore it or tell me what's wrong so I can change it... ^_^  
  
For a title I just used the title of the song used in it since I really can't think of anything else.  
  
Enjoy,  
  
- Banshee  
  
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Dyin' ain't much of a livin'  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"You rode a 15 year old boy straight into his grave and the rest of us straight to hell."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Heero fought for his balance as he climbed up the poor excuse for stairs that led to their current safe house. The wood under his feet made miserable noises everytime he shifted his weight and he just hoped that he would make it upstairs before the whole construction decided to quit and break down. The three bags of food he was carrying didn't help matters much. In fact Heero made his way by just -assuming- where he went since he really couldn't see anything beside the brown paper bags in front of his face.  
  
To call the place where they were staying a safe -house- was maybe exaggerating, too. More specific would be calling it a little cabin. It wasn't exactly located in the middle of nowhere but somewhere very close to it and consisted in a small living room that turned into a equally small kitchen, a poor excuse for a bathroom that wasn't anything more than a showerkabin with an attached toilet. And last but not least there was their bedroom which had a door, a window and a bunk bed that somebody had managed to somehow shove into the way to small room.  
  
All in all they could move about one step without literally running into a wall, one of the few and nearly rotten pieces of furniture or just the other inhabitant of the so-called 'house'.  
  
This other inhabitant was the reason Heero was now struggling with his bags and the stairs. He - namely Duo - seemed not to be able to find an end once he started eating and thus they had to go shopping every day. You might have aleady guessed that the fridge did not not work but simply wasn't even there...  
  
With one last curse directed at the stairs, Heero arrived in front of the door behind which their current home resided. He was positive that whoever had build this cabin must have had some kind of suicidal intentions since there was no real reasons for the stairs to be there. Well, except for a way to reach the door but there would have been safer ways of getting there too. Some of them involved jumping out of a helicopter and landing on the roof while hoping that the impact wouldn't take down the whole place.  
  
Heero didn't know what had posessed him to actually -choose- this hideout since he already knew the poor state it was in, but he had done so nonetheless and now he had to deal with it. And with Duo on top of it too.  
  
The one positive thing about this wreck of house is, Heero thought while trying to get the door open, that everyone who could attack would definitely break his neck while trying to get up this fucking staircase and if somebody really made it all the way up, he wouldn't be able to get in. Despite the bad state everything in the cabin was in, the lock on the door would have been worth of being placed on some vault. There was no way you could get it open without at least ten bars of dynamite - not even if you had the key...  
  
Heero curesd once more. This was why he hated it being his turn to do the shopping: The shopping itself he didn't mind but it ticked him of that it took him over ten minutes to get up the stairs and actually -inside- of the cabin each time he left it. That was just stupid.  
  
He decided to go in for the overkill. Maybe the lock was invincible but the rest of the door surely wasn't. Somehow Heero managed to hold all of the three bags with one hand so that he had the other hand free for different activities. Namely taking a hold of the doorhandle and pull. Which resulted in the door coming out of its frame and Heero being able to move inside.  
  
Stopping dead in his tracks, Heero stared at the sight in front of him. Duo was seemingly oblivious to his partner being back because he didn't do so much as look in his direction and he certainly didn't stop his current activities.  
  
Duo was sprawled over the couch in the livin room - the only piece of furniture that didn't threaten to completely fall apart if you just looked at it the wrong way - wearing his usual black pants and a black shirt. His hair was out of its normal braid and flowing around Duo's frame in a sea of curls. This sight itself was absolutely something that could get you out a concept. But the thing that really got Heero was the fact that Duo was quietly singing to himself - most likely along with some song he was listening to on his disc-man since he had his headphones pulled over his ears. Which could be the reason for him still not noticing Heero.  
  
Meanwhile Heero had put the door back into its frame and was now intensely listening to the lyrics of the song Duo sang. The other boy's voice was merely above a whisper but still Heero could hear every word.  
  
"... sing an outlaw's serenade. Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - when you're livin' on the run. Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - for the young. Is it too late to ask for forgiveness - for the things that I have done? Dyin' ain't much of a livin' for - the young..."  
  
Suddenly Duo's head snapped around as his instincts told him that he wasn't alone anymore. Way to late, Heero thought, but it seems that he was to deep in thought to notice me even if he wouldn't have had those headphones on.  
  
"Hee-chan! You're back!" Duo literally launched himself at Heero, back to his hyperactive self.  
  
"Don't call me that," came Heero's automatic reponse.  
  
Duo just grinned and tried to get a look into the bags Heero was still holding.  
  
Heero 'hn'-ed and thightened his deathgrip on the bags full of food while trying to move them out of Duo's reach. He didn't plan on going for a second shopping trip today just because Duo thought he had no need to eat like normal people but went for shoving everything that didn't bite back into his mouth as soon as he got a his hands on it.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Heero was lying on the back in the top buck of their bed and stared into the dark. The only sound that could be heard was the shuffling of sheets when tried to find a position he was actually comfortable with. Something he could try all night without succeeding, Heero was sure. Those bed just weren't made for being comfortable while lying in them.  
  
He couldn't get what had happened earlier out of his head. First of all it wasn't everyday you saw Duo with his hair down and although Heero had known that there had to be really much hair to form a braid that long, seeing the real thing was way more stunning. He never knew anybody could have -this- much hair...  
  
Hearing Duo sing was another thing Heero was thinking about. Normally nobody in their right mind would call what Duo did 'singing'. But today Heero had heard Duo sing for real and he surely had had a nice voice and that made Heero come to the conclusion that the boy was most likely -trying- to sing off-key to annoy people most of the time.  
  
But what was really keeping him awake was the unfamilar way he had seen Duo. He had met with Shinigami and with the Jokester. He even had witnessed a side of the boy that was well hiden from daylight: The side that still was the little street rat, not trusting anybody and ready to run.  
  
Today he had been able to see a completely different Duo, though. And he wanted to know more about this layer of Duo Maxwell.  
  
Heero listend to the sounds Duo was making while turning around yet another time. Faint cursing came from the bunk under him and assured that the other boy was still awake.  
  
"Duo?" Heero asked quietly.  
  
The rustling of blankets stopped at an instand and he could almost hear Duo thinking about what would have caused Heero to start talking without him having to pester the other boy.  
  
"Yeah, Heero?"  
  
Heero hesitated. He was aware that he was acting quite out of character right now - at least he knew Duo would think of it that way.  
  
"Sing some more?" he finally stated his request. He knew that this just had to sound weird to the other boy and he didn't have to wait long for a confirmation of his thoughts.  
  
"What? I always knew you had to have some sort of masochistic tedency with all that self-destructing and stuff but are you sure you want to torture yourself like that?" Duo asked jokingly.  
  
Yes. Heero was speaking to the Jokester right now. There was no use in trying to get some meaningful conversation started when Duo was in this kind of mood so Heero just turned to face the wall and prepared to go to sleep.  
  
Just perfect, Maxwell. There he comes crawled out from where ever he has been hiding all the time and actually tries to -conversate- and all you can do is being an idiot, Duo thought while trying to glare a hole in the wall beside him.  
  
"Why would you want me to sing? It can't be just because of my nice voice, this much I know? Duo tried to get Heero to talk to him again.  
  
But he was greeted with silence.  
  
"Heero? Come on! I promise I'll shut up and listen for once!"  
  
Heero turned back on his back and folded his hand under his head. He lay there for some moments just staring into the darkness like he had before he started this odd form of conversation.  
  
"Actually your voice is nice too if you don't try to sing off-key but you are right, that's beside the point," Heero finally answered. "I don't think I have to tell you that have various masks for different situations. Or maybe they are not masks, you are just adjust to situations like that, I don't know. In battle you go into Shinigami-mode and around other people you pull out the annyoing little prankster."  
  
"Hey!" he was interupted by Duo. "I call it having fun and cheering people up!"  
  
"I thought you were going to shut up and listen?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah... Got the message..."  
  
"Anyway, those two personalities could be called the extremes and there are various shades inbetween but what I saw today while you were singing to yourself just doesn't fit into all of that..."  
  
"You know, you make it sound as if I'm suffering from a multiple personality disease," Duo stated and both myrth and curiosity could be heard in his voice. "I don't know what I did to actually get the Perfect Soldier to have a conversation with me that doesn't consist of 'hn', 'baka' and 'go away' but I assure you that I like it! So are you going to tell me, what you saw that doesn't fit into whatever?"  
  
"You mean, you don't know? Or are you just trying to get me to talk some more?"  
  
"That too, but I have no clue what you are talking about. I was just doing some singing, nothing else..."  
  
Heero thought about this statement. Surely Duo was aware of the way he was acting while he was among other people but it seemed as if he was oblivious to himself when he was alone. That did perfectly fit the complicated personality that was Duo Maxwell.  
  
"I'm not completely sure myself. It's just that you seemed serious without the mad touch that comes with being in battle-mode and still you weren't anywhere near being insanely cheerful. Yet you didn't seem to be down or something like you usually are, when you are none of the above. I really don't know how to put it. That's why I wanted you to sing again. I wanted to see it again so that I maybe could figure it out." Heero went silent and waited for some kind of response from Duo.  
  
"The enigma that is called Heero Yuy makes itself known again..." Duo sighed after a short pause.  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"You know, you walk around analyzing people and their moods and masks and stuff all the time and the scary thing is that you are actually right most of the time you come to a conclusion about the personality of someone. But the same time you keep your masks right in place and don't let any emotion show. I just keep asking myself how this is able to work together."  
  
"I do have emotions..."  
  
"I know! That's what I'm trying to prove to everyone else the whole time!" Duo sounded somewhat frustrated by now.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Why are you so persistend about trying to gain my friendship?"  
  
"I just love the challenge!" Duo kidded but went serious right after again. "This is one reason, I guess! I always knew I could have some interesting talking sessions with you once I got you to open your mouth. It isn't -that- entertaining to hear myself talking and no-one else all the time."  
  
Silence fell upon the tiny room in the cabin again. Then Heero decided that he had something else to say.  
  
"Well, I think I can inform you that your persistence had some point..."  
  
A loud thud could be heard from Duo's direction and Heero moved to look down to see if the other boy was alright. He came nose to nose with a happily beaming Duo who had obviously launched himself out of his bed.  
  
"Are you saying what I think you are saying, Heero?" Duo grinned.  
  
"Hn." Heero couldn't help but let a small smile grace his lips as he looked at the boy who was positively glowing out of pure happiness.  
  
"You know, I would glomp you right now if I was sure that I wouldn't crash down the moment I let go of your blanket!" Duo announced still grinning like mad.  
  
But he was right. One glace told Heero, that Duo was more or less dangling down from the top bunk, his hands clawed into Heero's blanket the only thing that kept him from falling down again since his feet were hanging in the air. Heero reached out to pull Duo up some more so that now a part of his upper body was resting on Heero's matress and Duo could easily place his feet down on his own matress to steady himself.  
  
If possible, Duo's grin even widened. "Yay! I got Heero Yuy to not pull out his gun from Spandex-Space on me for nearly tackling him! Go me! I finally succeeded!" he cheered on himself.  
  
Heeros eyebrows shot up a little bit. "Spandex-Space?" he asked irritated.  
  
"Yeah! Duo nodded. "I'll keep calling it that until I figured out where the Hell you keep that goddamn gun. One moment there isn't even the tiniest trace of it and the next time you have it shoved in one's face. There just can't be any logical explanation!"  
  
"Baka," Heero told him but was smiling this hardly visible smile of his again. "You mean this gun?"  
  
Duo saw himself confronted with the dangerous end of said gun and once again he had no clue where it had come from. He 'eep'-ed and let go of his hold onto the bunk bed what sent him do the floor with a long thud.  
  
Heero peeked down on him. "You okay?"  
  
Duo held his head and waved a hand at Heero. "Don't worry, just hit my head, nothing serious."  
  
"Hn. You're right. It's not like you actually use it anyway," Heero answered and was positively grinning this time.  
  
Duo just stared at him with his mouth hanging open for some time. "The next time you try yourself on sarcasm, warn me early enough so that I can call Rome to tell the pope a miracle happened," he finally brought out, still somewhat perplexed.  
  
He had been surprised by Heero's sudden change in attitued towards him even if he already was pretty sure that Heero could act 'normal' if he just wanted to. But that the boy started joking around with him - as minor as the joke might have been - surely wasn't anything he had expected to happen anytime soon.  
  
Heero's voice brought Duo out of his thoughts. "Are you going to sleep on the floor or something? Get back to bad and try to get some sleep already, we have a mission tomorrow."  
  
"Hai, Hee-chan!" Dou got to his feet and dragged himself back into his bunk.  
  
After some time of adjusting himself, the pillow and the blanket he found some position that was as comfortable as he would get in a shitty bed like this. As he relaxed his body realization hit him: Heero hadn't protested against being called 'Hee-chan' this time. Duo grinned a grin wide enough to be capable of splitting his face into two halfs as he snuggled into his blanket.  
  
Yes. His persistance concerning Heero definitely paid of.  
  
He heard Heero move above him and rememberd the boy's original request.  
  
"A whisky bottle comforts me - and tells me not to cry. While a full moon says a prayer for me - I try to close my eyes.  
  
But the night's there to remind me - of the guns and the early graves. The ghosts appear as I fall asleep - to sing an outlaw's serenade.  
  
Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - when you're livin' on the run. Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - for the young. Is it too late to ask for forgiveness - for the things that I have done? Dyin' ain't much of a livin' for - the young.  
  
The desert's been a friend to me - it covers me by night. and a snakebite's not my enemy - but it taught me how to fight.  
  
All this fame don't bring you freedom - though it wears a thin disguise. When an outlaw is just a man to me - and a man has to die.  
  
Oh, Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - when you're livin' on the run. Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - for the young. Is it too late to ask for forgiveness - for the things that I have done? Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - for the young.  
  
And I hope someone will pray for me - when it's my turn to die. Pray for me.  
  
Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - when you're livin' on the run. Dyin' ain't much of a livin' - for the young. Is it too late to ask for forgiveness - for the things that I have done? Dyin' ain't much of a livin' for - the young."  
  
After listening to Heeros deep breathing some more, Duo too drifted of to sleep, a little smile still plastered on his lips. And above him Heero had the smile to match Duo's on his own lips.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Yay! Bon Jovi!!! ^_^v  
  
I can't help it if I'm madly in love with their songs and especially lyrics which just seem to be made for making songfics out of them... ^_^"  
  
The songs called 'Dyin' ain't much of a livin'' by the way (If you haven't guessed that already...)  
  
I can't believe how long this thing got... O.o The end gets kinda sappy but to hell with it! I'm just glad that it's done because I know I wouldn't have been able to sleep all night otherwise. ^_^  
  
And I have to admid that I like the whole piece even if I'm still trying to figure out what its purpose actually is... ^_^" Please review, ne? I love to get them! ^_^v  
  
Ja ne  
  
- Banshee 


End file.
